Grandma Beats Herself Up

We are in Kansas City visiting family with my parents. My mom has her arm in a sling because she tore her rotator cuff….falling over a box. We just check into the hotel and are getting settled in when the kid turns with a big suitcase and hits Grandma in the back.

Grandma *eyes wide*: Uuuhnn!
Kid: I’m sorry, Grandma!
Grandma: That’s okay.
Everyone *laughs*
Grandpa: Why don’t you yell her? If I had done that, you’d have yelled at me!
Me: Well, duh.

I was having trouble with allergies so my mom gave me a little Kleenex pack with one side all ripped up.

Me: Why did you rip this side up?
Grandma: I had to get the Kleenex out some way!
Me *flips pack over, illustrates handy flap on the other side…several times, while laughing. I turn to go to the bathroom.*
Grandma: I’m going to kick you in the butt!
*Note: I’m at least 6″ taller.*
Me *feels light tap, several seconds go by when there is a very loud THUD*
Kid: GRANDMA!
*I turn around. Grandma, having done an awkward sideways crab walk after her attempt to teach me a lesson, slams her torn rotator cuff shoulder into the wall.*
Grandma: Uuuuhhhnnnn! I didn’t expect her butt to be so high.

Guess who’s having surgery?

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